Maria

The origin of this podcast dates back to biblical times, maybe even pre-dates that era. The amount of horrifying, selfish, despicable, immoral, hedonistic behavior exhibited by all the regulars on this podcast definitely hint that it was formed around the time of the Old Testament. They probably all partied with the heathens at Babel – hence why they have Maria, a non-English, non-white person in their midst who represents all the varying degrees of confusion all non-English, non-white, non-male persons tend to exhibit.

As a native of lands afar, Maria often gets nouns confused with adjectives referring to bridges as 'lets cross that cuddly to avoid falling to our soggy death in the thames' or 'that hat is very badger'.

Maria is 80% machine and fuelled entirely by penises laced with vodka, which are harvested following extended sex sessions with kidnapped human males. Her description of her current first date technique is 'netflix and kill' though sometimes ‘netflix and morning after pill (You filthy whore).

Maria enjoys a long pork on the beach and pink grenades.