To give you an insight into a typical week for members of the Big Question Podcast, we keep in contact via WhatsApp and share crazy messages guys send to our real and fake dating profiles. 

Given that the majority of the team is straight, I take great pleasure in sending them unsolicited cock pics or strange messages that I receive. It’s not often, though, that I’m sharing a guy who at first seemed normal, only then to turn cray cray like old school Jerry Springer guests.

This guy very much meets that definition. At what point through the reply of “I’m fine thanks. You?” did he think that meant I was going to meet him? Creepier still: “I’m down your way today and tomorrow…” Seriously, dude, where are you right now, are you stalking me? Have you specifically travelled to my part of town simply to meet up with me? Shudder

Next time I leave my place, do I need to keep an eye out for a guy trying to suck me off as I walk? Or are you set up in the flat across the street with binoculars peeping in? Yikes 

Worse still, he persists. I try to be polite, because, you know, I’m a nice guy really (message indicated by the cake – cake is much better than me dressed in a harness with my moobs out, trust me) but he just doesn’t get it “…thought we seemed to like each other”. 

I may well be wrong but last time I consulted my awkward social conduct user manual, “Enjoy yourself” is an totes awks way of saying “FUCK OFF”. 


This guy gets it though. He knows that if I realistically want some cock, all I have to
do is spend a shed load of cash calling his US number, travel 10 hours and then I might just
get the same kinda fuck I get for free 5 minutes down the road with a much hotter dude. big sigh


Then there’s this guy. He has a point, I did move to London to be as openly, screamingly gay as I could, away from family and all the people I grew up with. But this cunt very much missed one key and important realisation: 
I moved to be openly, screamingly gay in front of other gay people, unlike he, who wants to hide in the fucking shadows, using his protection screen of digital media in order to perpetuate his hatred not only of himself, but of other gay guys, whilst simultaneously thinking that a pic of his manky torso will get some power bottom’s boy hole twitching for some old man cock. Oh, and my family don’t give a shit, nor do the people I grew up with. 

I’m not sorry that yours hate you; clearly you’re rude and a total fucking cunt so unsurprising.


I will end this with these two lovely gentlemen. They say “He who doesn't understand history is doomed to repeat it.” At least they tried.