The Big Question started a few fake dating profiles to interact with the dating population of the UK.

On one particular profile, the first few lines of the summary detailed how irritating our subject finds it that so many people open with very obviously “nothing” messages that they’re clearly sending to thousands of people in the hope that at least one woman might be so bowled over she immediately offers herself up on a plate.

It’s basically the dating equivalent of those spam emails for erectile dysfunction.

With that in mind, there’s nothing quite like a man who begins their opening exchange by effectively saying that:

They didn’t read a single line of your profile and their priority is the transmission of their genetic code with you above everything else

Ladies let’s be honest here, we all swoon at this and we know it!

I suggested that perhaps, just perhaps, that this gentleman may want to read my profile to get a better idea of what actually makes me tick and he replied with this gem.

What a charmer! Obviously this guy knows something about women and he wants to show it.

Generally speaking we get an offering of dick more or less every day and he must know that we get a little anxious if we don’t get one in all our interactions with men. Luckily for us he was here to swoop in and selflessly offer up his member. What a hero.

Me being a slightly feisty but coy sensitive flower, I had to wonder if him effectively unzipping his metaphorical trousers on the second message was an approach that resulted in a lot of success for him so I asked him.

Luckily he was quick to confirm that his tactics are sound and I must clearly be two seconds from dropping my knickers which obviously I am.

I was going to reply to this message but I decided that playing in the traffic represented a superior option.