Like so many of us, I get a long list of meaningless messages on a daily basis that read like someone who has made a conscious decision to not share their personalities, like it would immediately turn off all womankind everywhere.

He instead appears to have employed a tactic of repeating the same message twelvety thousand times to as many women as his little wrists will let him copy and paste, in the hope that someone somewhere won’t notice and reply. I bet it happens 2 maybe 3 times per thousand messages sent.

What I find interesting from this particular example is how early in the morning he started with his epic womankind messaging session. 

But hey it’s like what they say, “the early bird won’t get anywhere near seeing the worm naked if this is the approach he employs. The worm prefers to stay at home waiting for the sweet release of death as an alternative”

It’s something like that anyway.

I’ve basically given up on attempting to reply in a sensible way to these harridans and I’ve recently been replying with a long string of utter nonsense just to see what their response might be. 

In this instance I shared the shipping forecast just in case you know, he was a seafarer and was planning on taking a long ocean based journey in the next day or two. 

Of course if that was the case, more fool him as that shipping forecast was out of date!

He replied almost instantaneously and since I’m such a fair and balanced person, he did briefly appear to understand why he got such a nonsense reply.

However he then flips it around and perhaps suggests not only that perhaps it’s my fault that he didn’t make more of an effort as I receive so many other messages. But also all the other women for sapping his energy with ignoring his advances. 

If this is his usual approach, it’s hard to be totally surprised is it?

As a final coup de grace like he hadn’t already failed to cover himself of glory enough, he finished with the following message 11 minutes later without even the hint of awareness that it might be ten to seven in the morning and we might have a job to go to. 

Perhaps he thought that my little lady brain would be so bowled over with his mansplaining that I’d immediately drop my little lady drawers and beg him for it.

Thank goodness for sock puppets for when he inevitably start messaging me everyday to remind me that he proved his point!