Perhaps I’m a little guilty of not knowing my place sometimes but I do occasionally wish for a world where being born with a vagina doesn’t instantly render one as an object first and an owner of a personality way back in second place.

It’s idealistic I know but a girl can dream.

Our next victim is the sort of person who leads his profile with what he does for a living and in fact these are the only words he’s bothered to write on his profile. I guess he thinks that a certain percentage of women immediately drop their knickers at the thought of dating a doctor.

Obviously I must have missed a meeting or something as for some reason, I didn’t immediately drop to my knees and start blowing him as soon as he came calling.

I don’t know what is wrong with me, here’s our exchange!

As opening messages go, this one definitely shows the personality within fairly effectively.

I’m personally a big fan of messages that essentially say “shut up and send me pictures”. It makes me feel cozy inside and not at all like I’m viewed as essentially a pile of flesh for someone to gawp at and occasionally prod to check if I’m still breathing.

As we all know, I’m quite the shrinking violet and I like to hide my feelings with a lot of metaphor and subtlety, so I replied in this fashion hoping that he’d be able to decipher my very creatively hidden message.

Like a lot of people in the world of internet dating, I’ve decided how interested I am in someone from the first 2 or 3 sentences that they post. Sadly 99% of the men I interact with on dating sites have turned me off before I’ve so much as read line one of their profile or looked at a photo. Just the way that they conduct themselves in the opening exchange tells me all I need to know about them.

Something to consider there guys and girls!

Jeez… a girl dinner first before you pop the question guy! 

I never for a second suggested that I’d be sending him naked photos. Since that’s where he went immediately, we can see what was really going on in his mind. 

For some reason he sees something wrong with the idea of accepting that if things were to go well, there’d be a chance of intimacy. But at the same time explicitly stating that he’s looking for someone to possibly spend the rest of his life with is all gravy.

Smacks of warped priorities if you ask me! 

Despite being made from sugar and spice and everything nice, I can have a ranty side from time to time. This comes out when I think I’m being ‘negged’ by the kind of arrogant arsehole who leads with their high power job and tells me that I’d be better off deleting all the words on my profile and doing some kind of dating site based voguing session for his amusement.

Keep up with that nonsense and you probably will receive my saltier side!  

Even when this guy is attempting to seemingly apologise, he manages to fit in a sly dig. Because of course my unfriendly attitude couldn’t possibly be anything to do with what he had to say for himself. It has to be that I have some deep-seated issue with all men everywhere in the world. How could it anything else?

Someone should do a case study on the arrogance of this particular gentleman!

I did get a final reply from him but I’m not going to comment on it. I’ll instead include his picture!

Side note to any girls who are in any way receptive to this guy’s advances - you’re basically slowing down the progress of the human race by dating this guy.